Monday, November 17, 2008

Monday, November 17, 2008 - , 13 comments

PoW - 3

It's that wonderful time of the month again when we get to post our Portrait of Words stories, a writing challenge where we develop a story based on a set of pictures chosen by our humble host Jeff B at A Word in Edgewise.

This month, I'm going to be bold and post the story without the pictures though I have enjoyed having my stories "illustrated" so to speak. But if you'd like to see the inspirational, please CLICK HERE.

“The Rendezvous”
Marjorie drove to the park in the vintage Mercedes convertible with a thermos full of piping hot coffee. The sun was headed down as she arrived. She turned off the car and gathered her things. She would have to hurry if she was going to make it on time.
She noticed the hushed tones as she walked around the park. Though everything was still very green, the evenings were beginning to get a little chilly. The park was supposed to close in about an hour, and the few people she saw were heading out not in. Yet, Marjorie continued to drink in the serene atmosphere. Every once in a while, the silence was broken by the sound of ducks squabbling on one of the ponds in the late afternoon sun.
Everywhere she looked, there were different shades of green. The giant ancient Live Oak trees with their small dark green leaves were decorated with the silvery tones of the Spanish Moss that hung from the branches. The Pampas Grass, with the long bent over spiky green fronds and showy beige balls of fluff, was strategically placed to shelter intimate seating areas by the ponds.
There was no detectable breeze and the black water was as smooth as glass. Marjorie knew that she shouldn’t dawdle. She had a date to keep, and it was nearly sunset.
She spied the bench she wanted. It overlooked a pond with an unobstructed view of the soon to be setting sun. She wanted everything to be ready. It had been just over a year since she had been here with her love, Kevin.
The car was his. He had bought it soon after college over 20 years ago. He doted on it, and it was still in perfect condition. He loved to drive it fast with the top down. Marjorie had more than one hairdo ruined that way. She smiled at the thought now, but she didn’t remember it being quite so funny at the time, except to Kevin of course.
It took several years before he would let her drive his prized possession. It wasn’t until he wrecked her car that she was able to bully him into it, as if they didn’t both know that she was always the better driver.
Marjorie sat down on the bench, opened the thermos, and was rewarded as she breathed in the aromatic scent of the coffee with cream. From the time she was a little girl, she loved that smell. Now, she poured two cups and carefully set them down on the bench.
She looked up to see the brilliant sunset. It was especially amazing this night. A cold front was forecast for later in the evening, but the outriders had begun to arrive. There were massive clouds in-between the expanses of blue. The light was only able to penetrate the very edges of the sculpted clouds. This had the effect of making them look as if they were on fire, while the centers remained dark and cold. She was beginning to feel a bit cold herself, so she picked up her coffee and took a sip.
Every second, the sky would change with the colors becoming richer and deeper as the sun moved further beyond the horizon. Occasionally, Marjorie would glance at the empty space beside her with certain knowledge that her love would not be there.
They shared their last sunset together here just over a year ago. Two weeks later, Kevin was hit by a car while crossing the street. He did not survive.
The last bits of light began to drift imperceptibly away, and she raised her cup in toast as the tears ran down her face. With a catch in her voice, she said, “No human on earth will love me the way that you do. I still miss you so much.” She drank down the rest of her coffee. She wiped her eyes and collected her things. She wasn’t quite sure why, but she felt better. As she headed back to the car, she thought that she might drive home with the car top down.


Oh very nicely done! The picture prompts weren't necessary at all. You painted them quite well I thought. I could see the clouds and smell the coffee as she opened the thermos.

A sad ending, but one that fit the story perfectly.

Oh you knocked me down! You built me up and then you hit me with a mercedes! Nicely done! Well done, Cherie

Aw........ that was a really sad ending.
I loved your style and you told it well.

I loved the slow, stroll through the park pace. But he's dead! Still, it was a beautiful story.

That was so poignant, romantic, and plausible. Loved the whole thing. Thanks for doing this.


Thank you so much for the comments, all. Yeah, I'm more of a happy ending gal, myself, but I was trying to do something a little different this time. If it makes you feel any better, I was crying as I was writing it. ;)

Oh how sad! :(

You made it so real I could almost smell the coffee!

Thanks guys! I appreciate it. :)

Just found you Cherie - a lovely story, so descriptive and very poignant. I'll look forward to next months.


Such a lovely tender story. Beautifully done.

As she was walking to the bench I starting thinking - please let him be there - wonderful sense of anticipation

poignant ending, in a way it is happy in that she is dealing with her loss

Anne - So glad that you could join in the fun.

Raven - Compliments from the Worddazzle Maven? I take that! :) Thanks!

Dianne - Yeah, I saw it as forward progress for her.

Post a Comment